Mostly Movies Up For Best Picture

 

This week was my attempt to sit through all the movies nominated for 2025 Best Picture at the Oscars. With the extreme pain of remembering having done this once before (Moonlight, The Shape of Water, LaLa Land), I soldiered on. Four not on this list Dune 2, A Complete Unknown (previously reviewed) and The Brutalist (only available in sheistervision).

 

Anora  2024/ 7.1/ 139 min   Oscar Nominee      So.....the first half of this movie is pretty much soft core porn. So, I’d say not a family flick....unless you have a really weird family dynamic or are from Tenessee. Super rich Russian kid marries a hooker. Surprisingly his parents don’t approve. Movie requires some subtitle reading. Downside, no guns or explosions. Upside, major boobage. Movie sucks though, so I give it 5.8

Nickel Boys  2024/ 6.7/ 140 min      Oscar Nominee   Shot in first person format with a shaky hand held camera, this movie is very hard to watch. Then they insert video clips that seem to have nothing to do with the movie to confuse you. When you’re already at the WTF stage, they start jumping back and forth between past and present. The movie is about black kids trying to survive a reform school (Nickel) in the south late 1960’s. Plotwise, not terrible. The movie itself, unwatchable. I give it 4.8

The Substance   2024/ 7.1/ 141 min    Oscar Nominee    An aging actress takes a black market drug that makes her give birth to her younger self, a weird version of natural childbirth. Hilarity ensues. No, just kidding. Its sci-fi meets high drama. Not sure why Demi Moore felt the need to be naked (a lot) one more time in front of the camera. In the end she turns into Gollum. This movie was at least watchable although overly long. In fact at the end you’ll be saying “Why won’t this movie die!!!  I give it a 6.5

Amelia Perez    2024/ 7.0/ 132 min    Oscar Nominee   Wow. Who picks these turds? To start, this a musical, in Spanish, about a Mexican drug lord getting a sex change. She then fights with her ex-wife over the kids. The ex has her kidnapped. At the end, he tells her who he is just before they both die in a fiery car crash. I normally don’t put spoilers in my reviews, but I’m pretty sure nobody else is going to watch this. I give it a 4.6

Conclave  2024/ 7.1/ 120 min  Oscar Nominee  The pope dies and the movie is about electing the new pope. What goes on next is like a version of  TV’ s Survivor with different factions, lies, deals, and backstabbing. At least that’s what I think Survivor is like because I’ve never watched it. Turns out a lot of the Cardinals have dark secrets they are hiding. I was shocked by this turn of events. I expected sitting through this to be like eating razor blades, but it wasn’t. I give it a 6.8

Wicked   2024/ 6.9/ 162 min  Oscar Nominee     I don’t normally like prequels cause you know what happens to characters in the next movie. For all the amazing powers Elphaba (wicked witch of west) was not smart enough to walk around in a wetsuit? She could have ruled Oz but she flies off on her broom to become an animal rights activist. Movie had wayyyyy too much singing and was wayyyy to long. The one thing that kepy running through my head the whole time.....is how much I hate plays.  So I feel generous giving it 5.8

Flow   2024/  8.3/ 85 min  What a weird animated movie. The animals aren’t cute and cuddly, they’re realistic. Not a human voice or song in the whole movie. A giant unexplained flood results in a cat, dog, capybara, and a monkey all trapped in a boat together aimlessly sailing around. I kept waiting for them to starve to death and wondered how the boat didn’t fill up with animal feces. All the reviews proclaim this Latvian movie a masterpiece and it is up for an Oscar. I give it 6.2

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire  2024/ 6.6/ 115 min  If you saw the original Ghostbusters, this is a trip down memory lane. All the original ghostbusters are brought back including a really old looking Bill Murray and the black guy nobody knows. With all the CGI used in the movie, I thought they could at least have the ghost of Harold Ramis (Egon), who wrote the original movie, in it. I liked it and give it 7.0

Elevation   2024/ 6.4/ 91 min  Monsters take over the earth killing 95% of the population but they won’t go above 8000 ft. Movie takes place in the mountains above Boulder. A man, has to fight his way down to Boulder to get medicine for his kid.  The monsters look enough like giant bugs that you expect to see Ant Man riding one. You have to watch a couple minutes into the credits to get the final clue as to what happened. Not bad, a 6.9 movie.

Gladiator II   2024/ 6.8/ 148 min  I did not rewatch the first one, and luckily, I didn’t need to know what was going on in this one.  Maximus’ kid (now grown) gets hauled to Rome as a slave. He fights his way to the top in much better gladiator matchups than the first movie. The emperors, twins, are terrible and pretty much every dies. That sums up this epic. I give it its 6.8

A Dozen Movies I Watched

 

Twisters 2024/ 6.8/ 123 min   This one was way better than the 1996 Twister movie. It had better characters, better vehicles, better CGI , and a more interesting plot. I expected blah, like the ‘96 one, but was pleasantly surprised and entertained the whole movie. My only disappointment was not seeing a house land on a wicked witch. Aunty Em Aunty Em.  I give this a 7.4

Fly Me To the Moon  2024/ 6.9/ 132 min Another movie I didn’t  have high expectations for, but I found it pretty entertaining. Woody Harrelson kinda steals this one. I’m not sure if it would be as good if you weren’t alive in 1969, and remember the moonwalk (not Michael Jackson’s) live. Or did I ?? Movie makes me wonder.  I give it 7.2

The Forge  2024/ 8.3/ 123 min  I was on a roll with 2 good movies and wanted to keep it going with a highly rated one.  What I got was a two hour church service. I’ve seen so many movies with plot twists, I kept waiting to find out that they were pedophiles or secretly a satanic cult. Nope. No plot twists. Just a two hour recruitment movie for Christianity. I gave it a 5.0 and will probably go to hell for it.

Dune: Part 2  2024/ 8.2/ 167 min   I had to go back and rewatch Dune 1, because I really didn’t remember it which makes this one a 5 hour investment.  Movie started right where the last one ended, and I thought it was better than the first one. More epic battle scenes with the locals using the terrain to max advantage.  My only gripe about this one is, while it wraps up all the immediate loose ends, it leaves it open for future epics. By the time a part 3 comes out , I will have forgotten the first two and have to start all over again.  I give this one the 8.2 the masses gave it.

The Wild Robot  2024/ 8.4/ 102 min  I’m not really sure why this movie is rated this high, but it is pretty original instead of a sequel. The movie is cute, with interesting characters (the opossum mom my favorite). The robot raises a duck. That’s pretty much the movie. I give it a 7.6

Buffalo Kids  2024/ 6.8/ 83 min An actual western that was enjoyable. Funny that it was made by a foreign country.  Two Irish orphans are stranded in NY and must go to San Francisco to meet their uncle. You get train robbers, Indians, and buffalo (hence the name of the movie). Bout time some foreigners made a decent western even if it is without a Ennio Morricone soundtrack.  I give it 7.4

Abigail   2024/ 6.8/  109 min  The moral of this movie is, be careful who you kidnap. This bloody vampire gore-fest is a little slow starting but then the plot twists kick in. Good special effects keep it interesting and luckily the ballerina stuff is kept to a minimum. I give it a 7.4

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire  2024/ 7.2/ 115 min  I don’t know why I’m sitting through my hundredth Godzilla or Kong movie.  I’ve never really thought they were that good, clear back to the Godzeera days.  This one was pretty much the same as all the others. I give it a 6.3

Saturday Night  2024/ 7.0/ 109 min  For anybody ancient ( that’s as old as I am) that remembers when Saturday Night Live started and remembers the original cast members, this movie was really interesting. For anyone else, it’s 109 minute of the chaos that went into airing the first show. They did a god job of casting, finding people who at least resemble the cast and the people involved. I gave it a 7.5 for the nostalgia and some really good jokes.

Bad Tidings 2024/ 7.5/ 80 min Hear me out on this one. A made for British TV movie?? Sounds like my worst nightmare. I was wrong. The movie is basically Home Alone but with adults. Two feuding neighbors must team up to keep their neighborhood from being burglarized. And the best part....no Macaulay Culkin.  I agree with the masses and give it 7.5

The Six Triple Eight  2024/ 7.7/ 130 min  This was pretty good true movie about an all women black company in WW II that gets assigned to sort mail. I was shocked to find out that they weren’t always accepted and were sometimes treated rather rudely. And people used the n word pretty freely. It reminded of the movie Hidden Figures which was also a good movie. I give this 7.4

If  2024/ 7.2/ 104 min   A bittersweet movie about a girl coping with her mom’s death and her father’s illness. The imaginary friends (IF) are pretty cute and there are some laughs there, but this wasn’t the comedy I expected.  I do have to give it credit for originality. I felt a little screwed over that when I closed my eyes and tried to conjure up a cute imaginary friend, I got nada, bupkis. So I give it 6.7

10 of the More Popular Movies of 2024

Bob Marley: One Love  2024/ 6.7 / 104 min  This movie was kind of a downer mostly. I liked the musical parts and I like his lyrics but the pessimist in me doesn’t see a concert end a civil war. Just like “We Are The World” didn’t end starvation in Africa. In fact the only thing I really got out of this movie was Bob liked to play soccer and he should have let the doctor cut his toe off.  I give it a 6.2

Heavier Trip   2024/ 6.9/ 96 min   The Blues Brothers meets every old Beatles movie, set to heavy metal.  This was a good movie, even if not a fan of Death Metal. The band, Impaled Rectum, must escape prison, and play a show that makes enough money to save the family farm. The plot is old, as the evil manager only wants the lead singer. Downside of this movie is it is in many different languages, although a lot of English. Subtitles are provided, but that means this movie can’t be a background movie while you do other things. I give this movie a 7.9

Maxxxine     2024/ 6.4 /104 min  Why would I watch this? It’s the third in a trilogy  that started with X.  Now X was a really messed up movie, but it was at least different. I hoped for something different from this movie, but it didn’t deliver.  No unexpected twists. Nothing to see here folks. Not sure why it even got a 6.4.  I give it a 5.0 at best.

Boy Kills World   2024 / 6.8 / 110 min     Evil villain kills his family, check.  Boy hides in jungle and meets a martial arts shaman, check. Fifteen minute montage of training, check.  Boy heads off in search of vengeance, check.  Throw in some humor and you have yourself a movie. It gets a little weird at the end but the boss battle at the end is worth waiting for. I give this an enthusiastic 7.8

The Dead Don’t Hurt    2024/ 6.4/ 130 min     My token western, and I wanted it to be good. But alas, it was terrible.  Most of the  movie is a flashback. Some of it is in French with no subtitles. There is very little action. Town is run by a rich guy, whose son is a dick, and throw in a crooked mayor.  Stop me if you’ve heard that before. But at least it’s long and the end sucks. I give this a 4.8

Noah’s Ark   2024/ 6.8/ 96 min  This was a cute movie musical that wasn’t so geared to little kids that an adult couldn’t enjoy it. No surprises or plot twists cause we all know how it’s going to end. The movie focuses on how lions are dicks and mice are cute. Almost makes me feel guilty about how many I’ve emptied out of mouse traps. Almost.  I give this one its rating of 6.8

Venom: The Last Dance  2024/ 6.8/ 109 min The Venom comic books must have come out at the end of my comic book phase so I wasn’t already pre-familiar with the character.  I wasn’t a fan of the first Venom movie, but the franchise has grown on me. The addition of the hippie family added to this one. This one also helped with my confusion about the previous movies.  Of course, nearly everyone dies hence the title but they had a good run. I gave this one a 7.2

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga   2024/ 7.6/  149 min   I’ve seen every Mad Max movie since an unknown Mel Gibson starred in the first one.  They never disappoint, and this one was as good as any of them. This one relies more on the story and less on the machinery.  I did miss the guitar player and the bendy pole dudes from the last one, but the addition of flying dudes helped make up for it. I did have trouble believing Hemsworth as a bad guy because he’s always a good guy. I give it the 7.6 that the masses did.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes  2024/ 7.1/ 145 min   I’ve seen them all, clear back to Charlton Heston’s “ Damn dirty apes!”.  The apes in rubber masks were pretty hokey back then compared to the CGI apes of today.  The Ape movies with Caesar were the best, and I was sad when they killed him off in the last one.  This one starts off with Caesar’s funeral, then jumps ahead several generations to where apes are the dominant species, right back to where Heston started.  A peaceful band of chimps are captured by damn dirty apes and then they escape. Roll credits. Nothing to see here. 6.3

Monkey Man   2024/ 7.0/ 121 min    I thought this was a movie about fighting but that was very little of it. It is a revenge movie that starts with a botched attempt. As a bonus, this is an Indian movie, so although done in English, some subtitle reading is required. We then get a full training montage as he prepares to try again. Turns out, his training turns him into John Wick, with expected results. A little too much Indian culture in this one drops it to 6.3 for me. 

10 More Movies I Sat Through This Week so You Don't Have To

 

Strange Darling  2024/ 7.0 / 97 min  Serial killer movie. The movie opening credits roll, over a rendition of Love Hurts that I’m sure has the band Nazareth rolling over in their graves because I’m pretty sure they are all dead by now. Then it starts off with Chapter 3 so I’m confused from the start. It then jumps around between chapters. The first half of this movie is absolutely horrible. Then a twist I never saw coming almost redeems the movie. Almost. I give it a 5.8

2073  2024/ 7.1/ 83 min  This isn’t really a movie, it’s more of a documentary about “the event” that leaves the world run by ruthless billionaires Bezos, Gates, Elon Musk etc. The film uses tons of actual footage, so it was kinda interesting at first. It’s mostly about how AI is going to control the world. I learned a few things, which is not what I’m looking for in a movie. I give this a 5.0

Moana 2    2024/  7.0/ 100 min  I liked the first one, so I expected to really like the second one. I found it to be merely OK. This one doesn’t really bring anything new to the table.  I didn’t find any of the new songs to be that catchy. I did like the coconut dude, but everything else was ehh, seen it. Not a bad movie, but not a great one. I give it 6.2

Terrifier    2018/ 6.4/ 85 min   I wanted to watch the newest one, but felt I needed the story from the beginning. There is no explanation of why Art the Clown/mime is the sick fuck he is. This movie is a true slasher flick with no real plot. I’m guessing it was shot on a $10,000 budget, with $9000 of that spent on fake blood. I thought the SAW movies were gross, but this one gives them a run for their money. Because he never speaks, I didn’t care about Art. But with the gestures and expressions he kinda becomes likeable like Freddy. I give this movie 6.0

Terrifier 2   2022/  6.7/  138 min  I’ve never seen a sequel of a movie start exactly where the last one ended.  But this time with a better camera and a bigger budget. This time Art is targeting specific families (for reasons that really aren’t explained) instead of just randomly killing. And Art has this little kid ghost chick friend that isn’t explained.  This  movie is better because it kinda has a plot. My only real knock is it seemed too long. I give it a 6.5

Terrifier 3   2024/ 6.9/ 125 min     Change of pace. Instead of Halloween this one’s a Christmas movie and Art the Clown is a really shitty Santa Clause. This is yet another gorefest that had me cringe more than a few times. It does start tying things together that I didn’t understand from the previous two. Bad thing is, every movie is related to the previous one. So to really know what’s going on you kinda have to watch them in order. To make it worse, writer /director Damien Leone has said there are 5 movies in the series. Every time you think you can’t be more disgusted, Art finds a way to make you more disgusted. I’m not a huge fan of the horror movie genre, but these are pretty well done, so I give it its 6.9

Inside Out 2015/ 8.0/ 95 min     Yeah, I know I’m going cartoon heavy this round. Partly cause I like them, partly cause they’re short.  Like the Terrifier movies, I wanted to watch the first one before I watched the sequel.  I liked the movie and felt the plot was pretty original. All the characters were likable, but I did like the anger character the best.  I give it 6.8

Inside Out  2     2024/ 7.6/ 97 min  This movie does have some of things I look for in a sequel. Some new characters and the little girl is now a teenager. But the movie almost seems the same as the first in that its another hour-long trek to get back to the control room. And all the little falling marbles (memories) gets a little annoying. I liked it OK but can’t rate it any higher than the original at 6.8

Blue Beetle 2023/ 6.8/ 128 min Another DC comic that I read a few of back in the day. Wasn’t a huge fan, but this movie was better than I thought, especially when I realized one of the main stars was George Lopez. Turns out, Lopez carries this movie. Kinda sappy message that family conquers all, but the fight scenes are pretty good. Has enough humor to keep me going. I give it a 7.4

Hellboy:There Was A Crooked Man  2024 / 5.3/ 100 min      I liked the other Hellboy movies, but this was absolutely a turd. I should have known when I saw that Ron Pearlman wasn’t in it, the original director/producer had nothing to do with it, and it featured “Jimmy” from Yellowstone.  It’s like the movie started in the middle, so you start off confused. Then Hellboy goes off chasing witches in some backwards down south hill country. Lot’s of confusing imagery makes it all even harder to follow. He does get to use his big gun to shoot zombies. I consider it a victory that I made it to the final credits and I dare anyone else to do it. I give this one a 5.0

10 more movies from 2023/2024

 

Ant Man and the Wasp:Quantumainia  2024/ 6.4/ 125 min Figured I’d start out with a good old Marvel movie to get things going. I liked the other ant man movies ok, and that’s what I thought of this one. It was OK. It did seem like 3hrs instead of two but maybe all the time manipulation in the movie affected me too. I have to agree with masses on this one (which I rarely do) and give it a 6.4

Migration 2024/ 83 min/  7.4  I went into this knowing animated movies always have too high of a rating, even though I generally do like them. During the movie I try to figure out what the target age is that the movie was made for. I’m guessing about 7 years old on this one. And I’m not sure if I approve of the overall message of the movie being “don’t be safe” for little kids. Feels like, it’s OK to get in a van with a stranger, kids, it’ll be an adventure! It’s OK to play with the clown in the storm drain kids, it’ll be an adventure.  I only give this 5.5 cause it’s at least short.

Borderlands   2024/ 5.8/ 101 min:  I gotta throw a disclaimer in here. I have spent many, many, way too many hours playing Borderlands, so I knew all the characters before the movie started. Turns out, I didn’t need to as this movie is fine without prior knowledge. I liked this movie and don’t understand why it bombed so bad, but it won’t be the last movie me and the mainstream disagree on. I give this movie a 7.3

Gran Turismo 2023/ 7.8/ 135 min   Another day, another video game that I’ve played turned into a movie. A true story of gamers getting a chance to race in real cars. This one was a pleasant surprise and didn’t just seem like an advertisement for the game, although you will see a million Playstation logos.  Gran Prix is not my kind of racing, but the race scenes are well done. I can agree with this rating of 7.8.

Civil War 2024 / 6.9 / 109 min:  Picture any zombie cross country road trip movie but without the zombies. America is in a civil war and the movie is about 4 press people that you never care about, covering a civil war they never explain. Most of the movie, I just wanted all of them to die so it would end. Don’t know where that 6.9 rating came from because I gave it a solid 5.0 and felt generous doing it.

The Fall Guy  2024/ 7.1/ 127   I went into this skeptical. A movie based on a TV show I wouldn’t watch when it was on. Plus, Ryan Gossling left a horribly bad taste in my mouth when I forced myself to watch La La Land years ago to see what the hype was about. This movie had wayyyy too much love story to it, but some great stunts allowed me to power thru.  I give it a 6.6

Five Nights at Freddies 2023/ 7.5/ 110 min   Not since Freddy Got Fingered have I seen a worse movie with Freddy in the title. I have always asserted that Freddie Got Fingered was the worst movie of all time. But I got sucked in with this movie’s 7.6 rating and paid the price. Chucky Cheese gone wild. Not enough gore to be a horror movie, but a plotline so dumb it must be classified as a horror flick. I give it a 5.0 and want my two hours back.

Werewolves  2024/ 6.2/ 94 min  This is 2025 isn’t it? And you are going to tell me we still can’t make a werewolf that doesn’t look like it’s wearing a rubber mask. All this new technology and I cant get a real looking werewolf? The strobe lights in the first part of the movie almost gave me a seizure and I’m not epileptic. This movie steals its plot from the Purge movies, all you have to do is survive till morning one night a year. I wasn’t sure I’d survive the hour and a half. But I made it, and give this one 4.8

A Complete Unknown  2024/  7.8/ 140 min  Yeah, I watched it in sheistervision without subtitles. Which means I understood the dialogue about as well as I understand the lyrics to any Bob Dylan song. I’m not sure someone who wasn’t raised in the 60’s will be as enthusiastic about this movie as I was. As a songwriter, the man was amazing.  As a singer, not so much. It’s pretty long, has lots of drama, but the frequent music allowed me to power thru. I did learn that everyone in the 60’s was required to smoke.  Not sure I go as high as the mainstream, but I do give it a 7.0

Monster Summer  2024/ 6.2/  98 min     I wanted to see just how far Mel Gibson had fallen. Starring in a movie based on a recycled Scooby Doo plot, I guess that’s pretty far. And old lady Caruthers would have got away with it if it wasn’t for those damn meddling kids! The whole movie is just one big witch hunt. I’m guessing target audience is the 12 to 14. I give this a 5.4

The Next 10 Movies I sat Through This Week 2023

 

Barbarian -1:43 - 6.9    I was dismayed to find not a single broadsword swung nor a flagon of ale drank in this movie. The movie is misnamed as I didn’t see a single barbarian, just a house with tunnels underneath it. Super slow start and when it finally starts to get good there’s a bizarre scene change. I thought maybe I’d had a stroke and missed the end of this movie and started a new one without remembering it. You finally find out there’s a crazy naked lady living in the tunnels. And while I enjoy a little nudity in my movies, the cellar dweller not so much.  I found this film to be grossly overrated by the masses and I give it a 4.0.

Evil Dead Rise -  1:36 - 7.0     No S-Mart, no Bruce Campbell, no funny lines, no likee.  The movie should not have been allowed to use the franchise’s title. The movie sums up as a possessed woman tortures her family. Lesson learned, don’t open a book made of human skin with the title Necronomicon. Bad things will most likely be the result. The movie does have top quality special effects so it’s not some B grade horror flick.  And as a slight nod to its origins, a boomstick and a chainsaw do show up for the final scene which saved the movie for me. I give it a 5.8.

The Out-Laws - 1:35 - 6.3   The movie starts out with four strikes against it as I see 1) it’s a Netflix movie 2) it’s a Happy Madison movie, 3) it’s a wedding movie, 4) Adam Devine is the star.  So, I went into this wanting to hate it with every fiber of my being. I was totally wrong. The movie was hilarious with great casting including Yondu as the cop. The movie quickly turns from a wedding movie to an action movie because the new in-laws are out-laws. I know, clever play on words, right? Seriously this movie is funny and if it isn’t to you, your sense of humor sucks. I give it an 8.0.

The Wrath of Becky  - 1:23 - 6.8  Classic tale of runaway foster girl with some homicidal tendencies and a big dog who get wronged. Some neo nazis kill her friend and take her dog. Bad move. Things kinda escalate and a few dead nazis later. I am left wondering who in the fuck cast Seann William Scott as the ex-navy seal bad-ass Nazi leader?? Really?? Movie lost a lot of credibility for me there.  Not a terrible movie but overrated by the masses. I give it 5.8

Little Bone Lodge - 1:33 - 7.9  I had to do it. I had to know why a low budget looking movie with no stars had such high ratings. Pretty sick twisted movie. Set in the middle of nowhere England nothing is what you think it is inside the house.  When you think you’ve figured it out, you haven’t.  I guess if I had to classify it, it would be a horror movie?  Good ending. I can’t give it a huge rating though. I give it 6.0

M3GAN -1:42 - 7.3     Special effects have come a long way since Chucky but apparently scripts have not. I guess if you give a doll with artificial intelligence the orders of don’t let anything bad happen to the little girl, and you forget to install any fail safes into the program, well you reap what you sew my friend. And if you are going to let it sing....teach it a decent song. Totally low body count movie with no gore, so not even a good chucky movie. I don’t know what the raters were thinking. I give this movie a 5.0

Black Demon - 1:41 - 6.5   Why would a shark movie other than Jaws have a rating over 5? They are always shot in the murky depths so you catch glimpses of the beast, but never see it clearly.  Jaws at least had real actors and spawned a whole genre of shark movies, 99% of them totally unwatchable.  Just like this one. They try to dress this one up to make it about the environment and the shark is a vengeful god but you can’t put lipstick on a pig.  As the daddy tells his family a 20 minute long goodbye as he is about to sacrifice himself to save them, I nodded in and out. I was sooooo disappointed the shark didn’t survive to eat them too. A paltry 3.5 for this turd.

Two Sinners and a Mule -- 1:37 - 6.4   Who would have thought a movie about two whores teaming up with a bounty hunter would be horrible. Well, pretty much everybody. But I felt the need to watch a western cause I love good westerns. Ok, imagine this. Take the worst actors/actresses who couldn’t even make it in porn and give them the worst script ever written for a movie. Throw in a few Indians who don’t even remotely look Indian. Do some gunfights where nobody can hit the broadside of a barn. I did love that the bounty hunter got shot in the back in the opening scene in a white shirt, then wore the same shirt with the blood stain for the whole movie. I guess they packed light in the old days.  The whores managed to change clothes though.  I can’t believe I made it thru but at least almost everybody dies in the end.  Give it a 1.5            

Violent Night - 1:52 - 7.6   The first 45 minutes, I thought this was the greatest Christmas movie ever. Its basically Die Hard with Santa as John McClain. Then it really bogs down for about 15 minutes with sentimental drivel. Luckily, it got back on track just as I was about to lose interest. Throw in some Home Alone booby traps and some Thor hammer action along with a big finale and you have a movie that I would watch again. I would agree with the fans but, I have to dock the grade .5 for the 15 minutes of my life wasted that I’ll never get back and casting John Leguizamo as the head bad guy. I give it 7.0.

Sisu - 7.6 - 1:31       Basically this movie is one of those surprise gifts after sitting through so many turds. It’s about the Finnish version of Rambo. An old Finnish special forces guy just wants to leave war behind him and dig some gold, but some stupid Nazi’s suck him back in. Bad mistake on their part. Lots of war, lots of gore.  And I got to hear one of my favorite movie lines “Why won’t you die?” If you are a fan of war movies, gore, impossible escapes, Nazis, or Finland this is a must see.  I give it 8.5

10 Recent MOVIES I HAVE SAT THROUGH 2023

 

 10 Recent MOVIES I HAVE SAT THROUGH  2023 scale of 1-10.  Cinema rating 1^st, mine at the end

Fast X - 2:22 - 7.4  I guess you have to sit through the other 19 fast and furious movies to know who half the characters are and how they fit into Dom’s family. Since I’m not willing to do that,  I just had to guess. Vin Diesel still can’t act and grunts all his dialogue. I think “I am Groot” is the only words I understand. And the whole time I watch him I can’t get Daniel Tosh’s retarded chimp joke out of my head. Of course as with any F&F movie, the car stunts are the only redeeming value.  I give it a 5.5

Thor: Love and Thunder - 1:59 - 6.5   Way too much drama for a Marvel movie with the dying girlfriend and I’m not a fan of the meta-verse stuff. I really thought this was the worst Thor movie yet and can only give it 4.3

Extraction - 1:56 - 7.4  I stumbled on Extraction II and thought I’d give Chris Hemsworth a chance to redeem himself for the Thor turd. But I didn’t feel I could jump into a sequel without seeing the original first. Pretty good movie although I felt the movie was based on trying to beat John Wick’s body count. But if you want to see 2 solid hours of killing, which I do, then this is your movie. I gave it a 7.5

Extraction II - 2:03 - 7.6  I watched this one right after the first one and realized I didn’t need to watch the first one. Same movie different location same amount of killing. Still, any movie with this much bloodshed is worth a watch. I give it a 7.0

Prey - 1:40 - 7.8   This is the best of all worlds combining a predator movie with a western. A happy go lucky predator just minding his own business living off the land gets attacked by Comanches. The predator of course cheats by using advanced weaponry and pretty much dominates the fight. Some of the CGI animals are pretty badly done but the scenery  makes up for it.  The best predator movie since the original. I give 8.0

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - 7.2 - 2:42   This movie seems as much about a tribute to Chadwick Boseman as it is an action movie. And you definitely need to have seen the first panther movie or you’ll be lost in this one. I was surprised to see the villain in this one to be Namor or as I knew him back in the 60’s in comic books “Submariner”. He was Marvel’s minor selling answer to Aquaman owned by DC comics. I guess they didn’t count on old people like myself remembering him as a hero not a villain.  Good movie tho so I give it 7.5

Cocaine Bear - 1:36 - 6.3 - Assuming it would rival any Sharknado movie in its awfulness I felt I owed it to myself to watch a true turd after watching a bunch of good movies.  I actually kinda liked it. Funny, gory, and pretty dumb, this movie requires you put no effort into it. No plot twists or surprises. I give it a 7.0

Shadow Master - 1:30 - 6.8   Way over-rated mediocre (and that’s being generous) movie about a kung fu fighter who takes a job as night watchman and ends up have to fight  the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse. The fighting scenes make it almost worth watching but I’m sure there are better ones out there. The story itself is terrible and at best I give it a 3.8

Bullet Train - 2:06 - 7.5  - Unlike Cocaine Bear which requires no brain involvement this movie requires complete attention as there are multiple plot twists and lots of characters. Funny but with almost non stop action when you put that many killers on a train all with different agendas. Weel written and well acted, this is my favorite movie on this list. I give it an 8.8.