Friday, January 17, 2025

10 More Movies I Sat Through This Week so You Don't Have To

 

Strange Darling  2024/ 7.0 / 97 min  Serial killer movie. The movie opening credits roll, over a rendition of Love Hurts that I’m sure has the band Nazareth rolling over in their graves because I’m pretty sure they are all dead by now. Then it starts off with Chapter 3 so I’m confused from the start. It then jumps around between chapters. The first half of this movie is absolutely horrible. Then a twist I never saw coming almost redeems the movie. Almost. I give it a 5.8

2073  2024/ 7.1/ 83 min  This isn’t really a movie, it’s more of a documentary about “the event” that leaves the world run by ruthless billionaires Bezos, Gates, Elon Musk etc. The film uses tons of actual footage, so it was kinda interesting at first. It’s mostly about how AI is going to control the world. I learned a few things, which is not what I’m looking for in a movie. I give this a 5.0

Moana 2    2024/  7.0/ 100 min  I liked the first one, so I expected to really like the second one. I found it to be merely OK. This one doesn’t really bring anything new to the table.  I didn’t find any of the new songs to be that catchy. I did like the coconut dude, but everything else was ehh, seen it. Not a bad movie, but not a great one. I give it 6.2

Terrifier    2018/ 6.4/ 85 min   I wanted to watch the newest one, but felt I needed the story from the beginning. There is no explanation of why Art the Clown/mime is the sick fuck he is. This movie is a true slasher flick with no real plot. I’m guessing it was shot on a $10,000 budget, with $9000 of that spent on fake blood. I thought the SAW movies were gross, but this one gives them a run for their money. Because he never speaks, I didn’t care about Art. But with the gestures and expressions he kinda becomes likeable like Freddy. I give this movie 6.0

Terrifier 2   2022/  6.7/  138 min  I’ve never seen a sequel of a movie start exactly where the last one ended.  But this time with a better camera and a bigger budget. This time Art is targeting specific families (for reasons that really aren’t explained) instead of just randomly killing. And Art has this little kid ghost chick friend that isn’t explained.  This  movie is better because it kinda has a plot. My only real knock is it seemed too long. I give it a 6.5

Terrifier 3   2024/ 6.9/ 125 min     Change of pace. Instead of Halloween this one’s a Christmas movie and Art the Clown is a really shitty Santa Clause. This is yet another gorefest that had me cringe more than a few times. It does start tying things together that I didn’t understand from the previous two. Bad thing is, every movie is related to the previous one. So to really know what’s going on you kinda have to watch them in order. To make it worse, writer /director Damien Leone has said there are 5 movies in the series. Every time you think you can’t be more disgusted, Art finds a way to make you more disgusted. I’m not a huge fan of the horror movie genre, but these are pretty well done, so I give it its 6.9

Inside Out 2015/ 8.0/ 95 min     Yeah, I know I’m going cartoon heavy this round. Partly cause I like them, partly cause they’re short.  Like the Terrifier movies, I wanted to watch the first one before I watched the sequel.  I liked the movie and felt the plot was pretty original. All the characters were likable, but I did like the anger character the best.  I give it 6.8

Inside Out  2     2024/ 7.6/ 97 min  This movie does have some of things I look for in a sequel. Some new characters and the little girl is now a teenager. But the movie almost seems the same as the first in that its another hour-long trek to get back to the control room. And all the little falling marbles (memories) gets a little annoying. I liked it OK but can’t rate it any higher than the original at 6.8

Blue Beetle 2023/ 6.8/ 128 min Another DC comic that I read a few of back in the day. Wasn’t a huge fan, but this movie was better than I thought, especially when I realized one of the main stars was George Lopez. Turns out, Lopez carries this movie. Kinda sappy message that family conquers all, but the fight scenes are pretty good. Has enough humor to keep me going. I give it a 7.4

Hellboy:There Was A Crooked Man  2024 / 5.3/ 100 min      I liked the other Hellboy movies, but this was absolutely a turd. I should have known when I saw that Ron Pearlman wasn’t in it, the original director/producer had nothing to do with it, and it featured “Jimmy” from Yellowstone.  It’s like the movie started in the middle, so you start off confused. Then Hellboy goes off chasing witches in some backwards down south hill country. Lot’s of confusing imagery makes it all even harder to follow. He does get to use his big gun to shoot zombies. I consider it a victory that I made it to the final credits and I dare anyone else to do it. I give this one a 5.0

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