This week
was my attempt to sit through all the movies nominated for 2025 Best Picture at
the Oscars. With the extreme pain of remembering having done this once before (Moonlight,
The Shape of Water, LaLa Land), I soldiered on. Four not on this list Dune 2, A
Complete Unknown (previously reviewed) and The Brutalist (only available in
sheistervision).
Anora
2024/ 7.1/ 139 min Oscar Nominee So.....the first half of this movie is pretty
much soft core porn. So, I’d say not a family flick....unless you have a really
weird family dynamic or are from Tenessee. Super rich Russian kid marries a
hooker. Surprisingly his parents don’t approve. Movie requires some subtitle
reading. Downside, no guns or explosions. Upside, major boobage. Movie sucks though,
so I give it 5.8
Nickel
Boys 2024/ 6.7/ 140 min Oscar Nominee Shot in first person format with a shaky hand
held camera, this movie is very hard to watch. Then they insert video clips
that seem to have nothing to do with the movie to confuse you. When you’re
already at the WTF stage, they start jumping back and forth between past and
present. The movie is about black kids trying to survive a reform school (Nickel)
in the south late 1960’s. Plotwise, not terrible. The movie itself,
unwatchable. I give it 4.8
The
Substance 2024/ 7.1/ 141 min Oscar Nominee An aging
actress takes a black market drug that makes her give birth to her younger self,
a weird version of natural childbirth. Hilarity ensues. No, just kidding. Its
sci-fi meets high drama. Not sure why Demi Moore felt the need to be naked (a
lot) one more time in front of the camera. In the end she turns into Gollum. This
movie was at least watchable although overly long. In fact at the end you’ll be
saying “Why won’t this movie die!!! I
give it a 6.5
Amelia
Perez 2024/ 7.0/ 132 min Oscar Nominee Wow. Who picks these turds? To start, this a
musical, in Spanish, about a Mexican drug lord getting a sex change. She then
fights with her ex-wife over the kids. The ex has her kidnapped. At the end, he
tells her who he is just before they both die in a fiery car crash. I normally
don’t put spoilers in my reviews, but I’m pretty sure nobody else is going to
watch this. I give it a 4.6
Conclave
2024/ 7.1/ 120 min Oscar
Nominee The pope dies and the movie is
about electing the new pope. What goes on next is like a version of TV’ s Survivor with different factions, lies,
deals, and backstabbing. At least that’s what I think Survivor is like because
I’ve never watched it. Turns out a lot of the Cardinals have dark secrets they
are hiding. I was shocked by this turn of events. I expected sitting through
this to be like eating razor blades, but it wasn’t. I give it a 6.8
Wicked
2024/ 6.9/ 162 min Oscar Nominee I don’t normally like prequels cause you
know what happens to characters in the next movie. For all the amazing powers Elphaba
(wicked witch of west) was not smart enough to walk around in a wetsuit? She
could have ruled Oz but she flies off on her broom to become an animal rights
activist. Movie had wayyyyy too much singing and was wayyyy to long. The one
thing that kepy running through my head the whole time.....is how much I hate
plays. So I feel generous giving it 5.8
Flow
2024/ 8.3/ 85 min What a weird animated movie. The animals
aren’t cute and cuddly, they’re realistic. Not a human voice or song in the
whole movie. A giant unexplained flood results in a cat, dog, capybara, and a
monkey all trapped in a boat together aimlessly sailing around. I kept waiting
for them to starve to death and wondered how the boat didn’t fill up with
animal feces. All the reviews proclaim this Latvian movie a masterpiece and it
is up for an Oscar. I give it 6.2
Ghostbusters:
Frozen Empire 2024/ 6.6/ 115 min If you saw the original Ghostbusters, this is
a trip down memory lane. All the original ghostbusters are brought back
including a really old looking Bill Murray and the black guy nobody knows. With
all the CGI used in the movie, I thought they could at least have the ghost of
Harold Ramis (Egon), who wrote the original movie, in it. I liked it and give
it 7.0
Elevation
2024/ 6.4/ 91 min Monsters take
over the earth killing 95% of the population but they won’t go above 8000 ft.
Movie takes place in the mountains above Boulder. A man, has to fight his way
down to Boulder to get medicine for his kid.
The monsters look enough like giant bugs that you expect to see Ant Man
riding one. You have to watch a couple minutes into the credits to get the
final clue as to what happened. Not bad, a 6.9 movie.
Gladiator
II 2024/ 6.8/ 148 min I did not rewatch the first one, and luckily,
I didn’t need to know what was going on in this one. Maximus’ kid (now grown) gets hauled to Rome
as a slave. He fights his way to the top in much better gladiator matchups than
the first movie. The emperors, twins, are terrible and pretty much every dies.
That sums up this epic. I give it its 6.8
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