Amber claims most of my movie reviews are negative but its not my fault that many of the movies that come out are just turds. Several that I watch I'm pretty sure will be turds before I even start. but then I find that one good movie that makes it worth it. If anyone watches a movie and totally disagree with my review let me know. I'm down for a movie discussion.

The Green Knight 2:10 – 6.6 – What a piece of shit!!! This kind of movie is what happens when someone shoots a movie while on a speedball combination of LSD, peyote, and mushrooms. It was completely full of symbolism which I never understand anyway. When it was over I muttered Thank God and turned to the internet to see what it was supposed to be about. This is what I got   “If you have seen it, you’re probably wondering what the hell Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is about. The short answer is—we’re not entirely sure. Nobody alive is. The long answer is—well, a journey…” . I hated it and give it the appropriate 0.0 unsuitable for any audience.

SAS: Red Notice 2:00 – 5.9 – I watched this one on accident because it popped up when I selected a different movie. Happens all the time on Cinema.  But it started off with action so I watched it. Typical action flick. An evil paramilitary organization led by 3 psychopaths (not sure why you need 3 but the movie made it a point by giving us the definition of the word psychopath). They kidnap a train in the tunnel under the English channel but don’t realize a one man army of good is on holiday on the train. Only the final death scene in this movie is good. I agree with the 5.9 rating. Not terrible but not good.

Titane 1:48 – 6.6 – I was intrigued by the woman laying across the hood of a hot car. Maybe a movie about shooting rock videos of the 80’s? Movie starts with hot girls dancing on muscle cars. So far so good. After the show the main girl kills a fan who was stalking her. OK, he deserved it. Then the car she was dancing on shows up in apartment garage. She gets in and it rapes her. Huh? She then goes on a murder spree because it turns out she’s a serial killer. A victim escapes so she goes into hiding by claiming she is the long-lost son of some firefighter. That’s when the movie gets weird. In the end she dies giving birth to a baby born with a metal spine. And here’s the kicker; the movie's French and completely subtitled. I double dog dare any of you to sit through this one. Gratuitous nudity raises my rating to a .3

One Shot 1:37 – 6.9 – Should have been an easy prisoner transfer from some tiny island where they torture terrorist prisoners. But some bad guys show up in an old school canvas army truck that I can only assume they drove underwater to the island. They want the same guy for some reason I never understood. What follows is an hour long shootout with sooooo many dead bad guys I had to assume the army truck was really a clown car spewing out bad guys. Don’t get too attached to anyone in this movie. I give it a 5.8

Wild Indian 1:30 - 6.3 – Abused Indian kid kills another kid in the woods and gets his friend to help cover it up. Friend grows up in and out of prison and the killer goes on to be rich and successful. Friend finally gets remorseful and confesses to helping bury body 34 years ago. The ending sucks and I didn’t understand it. Maybe since Coleman is one with the Indians he can watch it and explain it to me. With the shitty ending I give it 3.0

Don’t Look Up 2:23 – 7.4 – I went into this Academy Award Nominee hating Leonardo DiCapprio ever since I paid hard earned money to watch Shitter Island. Not sure I’ve ever liked a Meryl Streep movie. And I don’t like movies about politics. Yet, I did like this movie about an asteroid headed for earth. Make sure you watch into the credits to see the final end to the movie.  I give it 8.4

The Unforgivable 1:52 -7.6 – Total drama about Sandra Bullock getting out of prison after 20 years for killing a sheriff. She is looking for her sister while the cop’s kids plot revenge. Movie is confusing at first but eventually all makes sense. At least this movie has a real ending that makes sense. I give it a 6.5

Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild 1:22 – 8.0 – Crash and Eddy, the possums, are the funniest characters since the penguins. Maybe funnier. And I liked Buck Wild from the Ice age Lost World movie. Together they are hilarious. Even with all the movies I still need to watch, I had to watch this twice and laughed through it both times. I give it a 9.7 because the bad guy isn’t that scary.