The latest batch of movies, I have limited myself to only 2021/2022 movies but I may have to change that as I run low on movies.

No Time To Die 2:43 – 7.5 – Not going to lie. It took me three attempts to get through this one. I realized when I was watching it, that of all the movie series I have seen, Star wars, Vacation, etc I have seen more James Bond movies than any other. And this one was the worst one. No cool opening stunt. And sleeping with women 1/3 his age was just creepy.  Way more drama than needed. No really cool gadgets. I only liked the ending. I give it 3.5

Spiderman: No Way Home 2:28 – 8.5 – Would probably have been a lot better if I hadn’t had to watch it in CAM vision with people’s heads and popcorn. Movie brings back all the old favorites which makes it a good nostalgia flick. Doctor Strange is pretty good in this one too. Movie has some surprises that I won’t ruin. I give it the 8.5

The Last Duel 2:33 – 7.6- Was she raped or was it consensual? That is the burning question behind the whole movie and leads to the duel. The movie would have been much shorter except it keeps replaying some scenes multiple times leaving me to wonder if I was having deja-vu attacks. The duel was pretty good though. I give it 5.0 for the old timey duel.

Free Guy 1:55 – 7.8 – I had to watch this twice because the first time was on the living room TV with no soundbar, thus I only heard half of the dialogue. It was worth the second watch. Definitely a movie for gamers as they love to throw the anachronisms out. Ryan Reynolds not his usual smart ass but just a nice GUY trying to rank up. I loved the almost completed DUDE. Well worth a watch. I give it a 9.0 for originality and being a good movie.

Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins 2:01 – 6.8 – Everybody was Kung-fu Fighting. The song just kept popping into my head as I watched 2 hours of kung-fu fighting. It was almost too much kung-fu fighting, but now I know why GI Joe came with kung-fu grip. I had always thought it was for masturbation but now I know it was so he could keep Snake Eyes in line if he got uppity and questioned Joe’s authority over the unit. Wasn’t great or terrible so I give it 6.0

Chaos Walking 1:49 – 6.8 -  Spiderman has to save a woman whose spaceship crash lands on earth. The whole town wants her dead, and everyone can read minds which made some of the dialogue hard to follow. Kind of a Scanners meets Deliverance movie. I did find the end to be anti-climactic though. I give it 6.4

Last Man Down 1:27 – 6.8 – Scandinavian movie. “Lars” is an ex-special services guy that has to save a woman who darkens his way out of the way doorstep. Bad guys want her blood because it may be a cure for the pandemic that’s ending the world. I was hoping for zombies, but no. I don’t know how many henchmen one bad guy can afford but Lars and the woman kill about 300 of them. And that’s the whole movie. Just terrible. I’m starting to think that Cinema’s rating of 6.8 is a default if no one is dumb enough to rate the movie. I give it 4.5.

Swim 1:27  - 7.6- I’ve always felt bad that I never forced myself to sit through any Sharknado movie, and because of that, I have offended the movie gods. Then I stumble across this shark movie with a 7.6 rating. I say to myself “no way a shark movie is a 7.6!” Boy, was I correct.  A combination of terrible acting with horrid special effects. The shark is the only believable actor in the whole movie. I give this 1.0 for the shark’s acting and feel I’ve paid my debt to shark movies.  

Last Shootout 1:26 – 6.4- I can’t put my finger on why this movie was bad. Maybe because they had to prop Bruce Dern up to say his lines. Maybe it’s because I still hold a grudge against Dern for The Cowboys. It seemed like even though the people were fighting for their lives, all they cared about was eating. Nobody could hit the broad side of a barn with their guns, plus the bad guys brought pistols to a long-distance rifle fight. Poor planning. I give it 3.5

 Amber claims most of my movie reviews are negative but its not my fault that many of the movies that come out are just turds. Several that I watch I'm pretty sure will be turds before I even start. but then I find that one good movie that makes it worth it. If anyone watches a movie and totally disagree with my review let me know. I'm down for a movie discussion.

The Green Knight 2:10 – 6.6 – What a piece of shit!!! This kind of movie is what happens when someone shoots a movie while on a speedball combination of LSD, peyote, and mushrooms. It was completely full of symbolism which I never understand anyway. When it was over I muttered Thank God and turned to the internet to see what it was supposed to be about. This is what I got   “If you have seen it, you’re probably wondering what the hell Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is about. The short answer is—we’re not entirely sure. Nobody alive is. The long answer is—well, a journey…” . I hated it and give it the appropriate 0.0 unsuitable for any audience.

SAS: Red Notice 2:00 – 5.9 – I watched this one on accident because it popped up when I selected a different movie. Happens all the time on Cinema.  But it started off with action so I watched it. Typical action flick. An evil paramilitary organization led by 3 psychopaths (not sure why you need 3 but the movie made it a point by giving us the definition of the word psychopath). They kidnap a train in the tunnel under the English channel but don’t realize a one man army of good is on holiday on the train. Only the final death scene in this movie is good. I agree with the 5.9 rating. Not terrible but not good.

Titane 1:48 – 6.6 – I was intrigued by the woman laying across the hood of a hot car. Maybe a movie about shooting rock videos of the 80’s? Movie starts with hot girls dancing on muscle cars. So far so good. After the show the main girl kills a fan who was stalking her. OK, he deserved it. Then the car she was dancing on shows up in apartment garage. She gets in and it rapes her. Huh? She then goes on a murder spree because it turns out she’s a serial killer. A victim escapes so she goes into hiding by claiming she is the long-lost son of some firefighter. That’s when the movie gets weird. In the end she dies giving birth to a baby born with a metal spine. And here’s the kicker; the movie's French and completely subtitled. I double dog dare any of you to sit through this one. Gratuitous nudity raises my rating to a .3

One Shot 1:37 – 6.9 – Should have been an easy prisoner transfer from some tiny island where they torture terrorist prisoners. But some bad guys show up in an old school canvas army truck that I can only assume they drove underwater to the island. They want the same guy for some reason I never understood. What follows is an hour long shootout with sooooo many dead bad guys I had to assume the army truck was really a clown car spewing out bad guys. Don’t get too attached to anyone in this movie. I give it a 5.8

Wild Indian 1:30 - 6.3 – Abused Indian kid kills another kid in the woods and gets his friend to help cover it up. Friend grows up in and out of prison and the killer goes on to be rich and successful. Friend finally gets remorseful and confesses to helping bury body 34 years ago. The ending sucks and I didn’t understand it. Maybe since Coleman is one with the Indians he can watch it and explain it to me. With the shitty ending I give it 3.0

Don’t Look Up 2:23 – 7.4 – I went into this Academy Award Nominee hating Leonardo DiCapprio ever since I paid hard earned money to watch Shitter Island. Not sure I’ve ever liked a Meryl Streep movie. And I don’t like movies about politics. Yet, I did like this movie about an asteroid headed for earth. Make sure you watch into the credits to see the final end to the movie.  I give it 8.4

The Unforgivable 1:52 -7.6 – Total drama about Sandra Bullock getting out of prison after 20 years for killing a sheriff. She is looking for her sister while the cop’s kids plot revenge. Movie is confusing at first but eventually all makes sense. At least this movie has a real ending that makes sense. I give it a 6.5

Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild 1:22 – 8.0 – Crash and Eddy, the possums, are the funniest characters since the penguins. Maybe funnier. And I liked Buck Wild from the Ice age Lost World movie. Together they are hilarious. Even with all the movies I still need to watch, I had to watch this twice and laughed through it both times. I give it a 9.7 because the bad guy isn’t that scary.